1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between threerooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full ofassassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions thathaven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both goout together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray whenyou throw it away?
4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the wordsWednesday, Friday, or Sunday?
5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quicklyyou can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinaryand plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact,nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it andthink about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if youwork at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without anycoaching!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Jokes again......
Sex in the Dark...
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love, the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well,after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figures she would break him of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... A vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. 'You impotent bastard,' She screamed at him, 'How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!'
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: 'I'll explain the toy. You explain the kids.'
This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!!!
A few years ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Bill Clinton... The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'how r u'. Then Mr. Clinton should say, 'I am fine, and you?' Now, you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do the work for you.' It looks quite simple, but the truth is... When Mori met Clinton , he mistakenly said 'who r u?' (Instead of 'How r u?'.) Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor: 'Well, I'm Hillary's husband, ha-ha...' Then Mori replied 'me too, ha-ha.. .'. Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love, the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well,after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figures she would break him of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... A vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. 'You impotent bastard,' She screamed at him, 'How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!'
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: 'I'll explain the toy. You explain the kids.'
This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!!!
A few years ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Bill Clinton... The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'how r u'. Then Mr. Clinton should say, 'I am fine, and you?' Now, you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do the work for you.' It looks quite simple, but the truth is... When Mori met Clinton , he mistakenly said 'who r u?' (Instead of 'How r u?'.) Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor: 'Well, I'm Hillary's husband, ha-ha...' Then Mori replied 'me too, ha-ha.. .'. Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.
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