Updated! ~

New Jokes..

A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit;

she asked her son - to use his own phone to pass an urgent message to daddy who is at work site.

After the son had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that it was a lady that picked up daddy's phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile phone.

(Women!!) She waited impatiently for her husband to return from work site, immediately when she saw him, she gave him a very hot tight slap.

While the hubby was trying to ask why the slap? She repeated the slap, people from the neighborhood rushed around to know what is happening

The man asked the son to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called, the son said

" the number u are Trying To call Is not Reachable At The Moment. Pls Try Again Later".

.........................................................................................................

"Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said.

"I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," Bob said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'whoo-ha' the doctor had ever seen.

It couldn't have been bigger than the size of a AAA battery. Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell laughing to the floor.

Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.

"I'm so sorry," said the doctor. "I really am. I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again.

Now, what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen,"

...............................................................................

Father : I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : I will choose my own bride!
Father: But the girl is Bill Gates’s daughter.
Son : Well, in that case… ok!

Next Father approaches Bill Gates.

Father: I have a husband for your daughter.
Bill Gates: But my daughter is too young to marry!
Father: But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.
Bill Gates: Ah, in that case… ok

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Father: I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president. President: But I already have more vice-presidents than I need!
Father: But this young man is Bill Gates’s son-in-law.
President: Ah, in that case… ok!

this is how u become a BIG SHOT...

............................................................................

Kevin wanted to have sex with a girl in his office,but she belonged to someone else...

One day, Kevin got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you".

But the girl said "NO".

Kevin said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. "

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend...

So she called her boyfriend and told him the story.Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get hispants down."

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call.

Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened

She responded, “ the bastard used coins! ”

Check before you call

A man checks into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely. He thought of one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab.

He popped into a phone booth near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs all the way up to her..... you know the kind.

So he is back in the room and figures, what the hell, give her a call.

"Hello?" the woman says. God, she sounded sexy. "Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one.

No, wait, I should be straight with you.
I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex.
I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now.
I'm talking kinky the whole night long.
You name it, we'll do it.
Bring implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks.
We'll go hot and heavy all night; Tie me up, wear a strap on, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want baby.
Now, how does that sound?"

She says, "That sounds fantastic, but for an outside line you need to press 9."

stupidity

On walking into the factory, the manager noticed a young boy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.

He approached the young man and calmly said to him, "How much do you earn?"

The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question, he replied, none the less, "I earn $ 2 000.00 a month, Sir. Why?"

Without answering, the manager took out his wallet and removed $ 6,000.00 cash then gave it to the young man and said: "Around here I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty! Here's 3 months' salary, now GET OUT and don't come back".

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.
Noticing a Few onlookers, the manager said in a very upset manner: "And that applies for everybody in this company".

He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, "Who's the young man that I just fired?"

To which an amazing reply came: "He was the pizza delivery man, Sir...!!!"

Pics ~

Another Ah Beng Joke..

Ah Beng went to take night courses for the reason in future can get promotion or better job. During work, Ah Beng likes to show off to Ah Seng about his knowledge.

Ah Beng: Ah Seng ah... I've been taking night courses for 3 months already, next week is the exam.

Ah Seng: Oh... Good luck ah.

Then Ah Beng started show off...
Ah Beng: Ok, I test you, who is Graham Bell?

Ah Seng: Don't know
Ah Beng: He is the inventor of phone la... in 1876, see... if you take night courses, you would know this.

Ah Seng: ..................... .. *speechless*

The next day, Ah Beng shows off again...
Ah Beng: Ah Seng ah... let me ask you, who is Jea n Jacques Rousseau?

Ah Seng: Wash your toilet one ah?

Ah Beng: No! He's the author of "Confessions", nah nah nah... told you already, if you take night courses, you would know this.

Ah Seng: ......................... *speechless + frustrated*

The next day, once again...
Ah Beng: Do you know who is Alexander Dumas?

Ah Seng: Your gay partner?

Ah Beng: Choiii!!! If you don't know don't simply answer la. He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you would know this.

Ah Seng: ....................... *speechless + frustrated + irritated
This time Ah Seng cannot tahan (stand) anymore and ask Ah Beng...

Ah Seng: Eh... Do you know who is Ah Kaw?

Ah Beng: Errrr... No!

Ah Seng: He's the guy sleeping with your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know this!!

Ah Beng: ........................ *fainted*

JOKES and TEARS… OF A HUSBAND

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.

"Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly.

"Yes I do" she replies.

The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the garden?"

"Yes! I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued.
"Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"

"I remember that too" she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said,
"I would have been released today" .....

Sunday's Jokes ^^

An elderly woman went to her local doctor’s office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied,
“I’d like to have some birth control pills.”

Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Glenwood, but you’re 80 years old. What would you possibly need birth control pills for?”

The woman replied, “They help me sleep better.”

The doctor considered this for a second, and continued… “How in the world do birth control pills help you sleep?”

The woman said, “I put them in my granddaughter’s orange juice, and I sleep better at night.”

...................................................................................
"What time does the library open?" the man on the phone asked.

"Nine A.M." came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?"

"Not until nine A.M.?" the man asked in a disappointed voice.

"No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said.
"Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?"

"Who said I wanted to get in?" the man sighed sadly. "I want to get out."

................................................................................

An investment firm is hiring mathematicians. After the first round of interviews, three hopeful recent graduates - a pure mathematician, an applied mathematician, and a graduate in mathematical finance - are asked what starting salary they are expecting.

The pure mathematician: "Would $30,000 be too much?"
The applied mathematician: "I think $60,000 would be OK."
The math finance person: "What about $300,000?"

The personnel officer is flabberghasted: "Do you know that we have a graduate in pure mathematics who is willing to do the same work for a tenth of what you are demanding!?"

"Well, I thought of $135,000 for me, $135,000 for you - and $30,000 for the pure mathematician who will do the work."

A story to share...

Mr Kitahara is a famous Japanese TV satire movie star cum director.. He has recently won another international film award. A few years ago his mother passed away. He went home to attend her funeral. He never quite liked his mother, because she kept asking him for money. Should he missed a payment, his mother would call him up and scolded him. On top of that, the more famous he became the more money his mother demanded from him. When he arrived at the funeral, he still cried very miserably. He felt that he did not fulfill his duties as a son to take care of his mother during her living years. At the end of the service, as he was about to leave, his brother handed him a small parcel saying,"Mother asked me to pass this to you." Carefully he opened the parcel. He found within, a savings passbook and a letter. The savings account was under his name with a balance of tens of million Yen. In the letter his mother wrote, 'Dear son, among all my children, you are the one whom got me most worried. You were never an academic, a true spendthrift and over generous to your friends. When I knew that you were going to work in Tokyo, I was worried that one day you would become a bankrupt. That is why I insist on you sending me money every month. This is to give you a drive to earn more money, at the same time help you to save. Here is all your money, I did not have to spend a cent, for your brother has taken care of me very well. Now take the money and spend wisely."

After reading the letter he broke down with tears and sorrow...

Turner Brown?

Skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch long, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown."

The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him.

The big guy says: What's wrong with you?
In a weak voice the little guy says, "W... w... what EXACTLY did you say to me?"

The big dude says: "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me..... I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch long,, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown.

"The small guy says: "Turner Brown?!... Phew, I thought you said: Turn around!"

Just Some Jokes!!

Question: Why is sperm donation more expensive rather than blood donation? Answer: Because it's HANDMADE!!


Man No 1 : "My wife is obsessed with cars. While asleep, she holds my dick & said 'first gear, 2nd gear..." Man No 2 : "My wife is worse! She puts my dick inside her & said "Full tank please."


Question : What is the closest thing that is similar to a woman's period? Answer : Your SALARY! It comes once a month, lasts about 5-7 days & if it doesn't come, you're in big trouble!


A woman gave birth to 6 babies. On seeing this she got off the hospital bed, slapped her husband & shouted, "I told you not to do it doggy style!"


A prostitute goes to deposit a $100 bill in a bank. The teller says, "Sorry, madam, this note is a fake." "Oh no!" exclaimed the prostitute, "I have been RAPED!"


"Your secretary publicly said you have a small dick, what would you comment on this?" "The truth is = she has a big mouth!"


A Japanese girl accidentally lets out a big fart after making love. She said, "Aww, so sorry... excuse me pleazo, Front hole is so happy that my back hole laugh out loud!"


Love is a complicated machinery. But sometimes all you need is a good screw to fix it.


What's the difference between biology and sociology? When the baby looks like his mom or dad = it's biology. When he looks like the neighbour,= it is sociology.


What do u call the useless piece of flesh attached to the dick ? = The MAN.


Whoever first said "A dog is man's best friend" = he must have never seen a pussy before..


Why is breast milk good for health? Because it is great for blood circulation, provides heat, is refreshing and comes in attractive containers.


Why was the two-piece bikini invented? To separate the meat section from the dairy section.


A mother was scolding the daughter, "I don't like the guy you are going out with. He is too dumb." "No, Mama," she said, "He is going to be a doctor. See, he has already cured me of that illness that I used to have every month

THE FIVE RIDDLES

1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between threerooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full ofassassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions thathaven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?



2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both goout together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?



3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray whenyou throw it away?



4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the wordsWednesday, Friday, or Sunday?



5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quicklyyou can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinaryand plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact,nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it andthink about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if youwork at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without anycoaching!

Jokes again......

Sex in the Dark...

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love, the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well,after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figures she would break him of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... A vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. 'You impotent bastard,' She screamed at him, 'How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!'

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: 'I'll explain the toy. You explain the kids.'


This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!!!
A few years ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Bill Clinton... The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'how r u'. Then Mr. Clinton should say, 'I am fine, and you?' Now, you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do the work for you.' It looks quite simple, but the truth is... When Mori met Clinton , he mistakenly said 'who r u?' (Instead of 'How r u?'.) Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor: 'Well, I'm Hillary's husband, ha-ha...' Then Mori replied 'me too, ha-ha.. .'. Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.

Turtle raping a shoe! MUST WATCH DAM FUNNY xD

Essay on his dog

Ah Beng’s teacher gave him an assignment to write an essay on his dog. His teacher read his essay and said, “ Ah Beng, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his essay? Ah Beng replied, “No, sir . We have the same dog mah…so essay also same lo.. ?”

Enjoy !! m3ngz~(=.=)

God Damn Funny Poem and Not As Lame as Mk

Can study, continue STUDY

Can’t study, work FACTORY

Cannot rely on CHARITY

Earn a little SALARY

Just enough for daily ROTI

Go work, no wira but LRT

Collegues formerly FRIENDLY

Daily treated to KOPI

Now gradually get CRAZY

Behind me say I LAZY

Boss has no SYMPHATY

Work always must HURRY

Say I always take MC

Often ask me do OT

Midnight go back in TAXI

Taxi surcharge KILLING ME
Cause my bank account NO MONEY

Pok- cheque kena EXTRA FEE
Coz Y2K is nothing FREE
Boy/girlfriend STEADY

Serious and then MARRY

Ceremony and PARTY

Joker-friends gave PANTY

No moon sure no HONEY

10 months later be DADDY

Wife at GH birth a BABY

Name give is DO RE MI

Monthly pay back RHB

Earn enough FEEL GUILTY

Jump down suicide and MATI

Go see God, every thing JADI

Enjoy !! m3ngz~(=.=)

Sajak kGz

Sajak kGz

Wahai kawan-kawan,
mari dengar cerita kami,
kami pelajar dari Happy Garden,
Ktar di mana kami belajar.

Tiap-tiap pagi bangun 6.15am,
Mengz pula bangun pukul 6.35am,
Perjalanan ke Ktar gelap-gelita,
Kerana mata tertutup sepanjang perjalanan.

Sampai kolej pergi kantin,
nampak Sooyang kirim salam,
makan nasi atau mee saje,
kerana itu semua yang ada.

Masuk kelas belajar bersungguh-sungguh,
Mengz pula tidur bersungguh-sungguh,
Keith dan Kengfai bijak pandai,
kerana ditanya pelbagai soalan oleh Wendy.

Masa rehat makan bersama,
butter pork guna kongpo pork menjadi pilihan,
Mengz makan banyak cepat,
kerana habis makan pergi CIT.

Ktar banyak luas banyak nyamuk,
kami menderma darah setiap hari,
tanpa mengira warna n saiz nyamuk,
buat baik dibalas baik.

Nak dengar berita atau gossip terkini,
buka tv cari CNN,
kalau CNN tak jelas,
carilah Wendy.

Masa belajar jangan cari gaduh,
nak cari gaduh jangan cari Keith,
kalau keith marah,
RM1.90 dan RM2.40 itulah balasan.

Pelajar yang paling kesian Kengfai namanya,
menderma C902 kepada pasangan tahi,
asyik paksa orang mengambil bukunya,
sedangkan tangannya banyak senang.

Itulah cerita kami,
saya munkiat penyajak baru,
kalau salah anggaplah betul,
u diam i diam siapa tahu.

Marketing

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's very rich. Marry him."
That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink.
You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich "Will you marry me?"
That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich, I want to marry you."
That's Brand Recognition.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I'm rich. Marry me"
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback

Enjoy !! m3ngz~(=.=)

Shaver Advertisement ..

The Jokes From Malaysia ..

The Parrot

Mrs. Wong's dishwasher quits working so she calls a repairman. Since she has to go to work the next day, she tells him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the cheque. Oh, by the way, don't worry about my Bull Dog, he won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!"
When the repair man arrives at Mrs. Wong's apartment the next day, he discovers the biggest and meanest Bull Dog he has ever seen. But just as she said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his business.
The Parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing, and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!"
To which the parrot replied,"Get him, Spike!"

..::Malaysia English vs Britain English::..

Learn la veli usefull one kekekekeke...Compare these phrases that Malaysians and Britons use to say the same thing:

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS

Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL

Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hallo, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY.
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians: No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION

Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Doe-waaaan!

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shaddap lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: Wat happen Why lidat????ADUI!!! (jumping to conclusion)

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you.
Malaysians:Hoi!!!u pig ar lidat also doe no how to do!!!!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me
Malaysians:Celaka u/LANCAUUUUUUUU/cibai la/puki mak/punya ma!!!

Stupid Drivers

Two rich men were talking over coffee one day and one of them said to the other one "Hey I tell you my driver is really stupid... you don't believe?

Let me show you." and he called his driver Ah Beng over and said "Ah Beng, here is a 10 dollar note, go to the car showroom and buy me a Mercedes." to which Ah Beng replied, "Yes Sir! right away!" and rushed off to the showroom.

The rich man turned to his friend and said, "See, I told you he was stupid." The other rich man said, "That's nothing, you want to see stupid, I will show you stupid." and he called his driver, Ali. "Ali, go home now and check to see if I'm at home." to which Ali said, "Yes Sir, right away Sir." and ran home. "See what I told you? He doesn't even have enough brains to know that I cannot be at home if I am here."

Later on, the two drivers met on the road. Ah Beng said to Ali, "Eh, you know my boss is sooo stupid. He gave me 10 dollars and ask me to go to the car showroom and buy him a Mercedes..... Doesn't he know that today is Sunday lah, the showroom is closed!" Ali replied, "You think he is stupid ah? My boss lagi worse, he asked me to go home to check if he is at home.... He got hand phone what, can just call up to check lah!!!!"

This is the reason why the boss can faint when he see the form filled by the interviewer.

Name: Ah Boy

Age: Still young

Sex: Never. Still under age

Religion: I only have experience praying my cat who dead 2 years before

Race: I love to race, how you know?

Nationality: I don't like National, I prefer Sanyo

IC Number: 6735

Telephone number: House no telephone

Hand phone number: 3310

Address: Penang Jelutong

City : Nor Haliza?

Postcode: I never post anything

State: In my family, I am 2nd

Country: I love to travel to Canada

Marriage status: Secret

Email Address: Hotmail

Education Background: My teacher said not bad

Working experience: Last time got sell pirated VCD

Father's name: Daddy

Father's IC: You ask him

Mother's name: Mummy

Mother's IC: You ask her

Current Salary: Depends on my daddy mood

Expected Salary: As much as you can pay

When can start work: Depends on my mood

Highest qualification: Ya, very high

Grade: Ya, very high

College/University: College

Signature: Can I use chop?

Enjoy !! m3ngz~(=.=)

Five (5) lessons to make you think about the way we treat people.

1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor
gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student
and had breezed through the questions until I read
the last one:

'What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?'

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the
cleaning woman several times. She was tall,
dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question
blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if
the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

'Absolutely,' said the professor. 'In your careers,
you will meet many people. All are significant. They
deserve your attention and care, even if all you do
is smile and say 'hello.'

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her
name was Dorothy.



2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:3 0 p.m., an older African American
woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway
trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had
broken down and she desperately needed a ride.
Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.
A young white man stopped to help her, generally
unheard of in those conflict-filled 60s.. The man
took her to safety, helped her get assistance and
put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his
address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a
knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a
giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A
special note was attached..

It read:
'Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway
the other night. The rain drenched not only my
clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along.
Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying
husband's bedside just before he passed away.. God
bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving
others.'

Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.



3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less,
a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and
sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him..

'How much is an ice cream sundae?' he asked.

'Fifty cents,' replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and
studied the coins in it.

'Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?' he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the
waitress was growing impatient.

'Thirty-five cents,' she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins.

'I'll have the plain ice cream,' he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on
the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice
cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress
came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the
table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish,
were two nickels and five pennies..

You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had
to have enough left to leave her a tip.




4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a
roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if
anyone would remove the huge rock Some of the
king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by
and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the
King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did
anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of
vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the
peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the
stone to the side of the road. After much pushing
and straining, he finally succeeded. After the
peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed
a purse lying in the road where the boulder had
been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note
from the King indicating that the gold was for the
person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The
peasant learned what many of us never understand!

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.



5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a
hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who
was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only
chance of recovery appeared to be a blood
transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had
miraculously survived the same disease and had
developed the antibodies needed to combat the
illness.. The doctor explained the situation to her
little brother, and asked the little boy if he would
be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a
deep breath and saying, 'Yes I'll do it if it will
save her.' As the transfusion progressed, he lay in
bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did,
seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his
face grew pale and his smile faded.

He looked up at the doctor and asked with a
trembling voice, 'Will I start to die right away'.

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the
doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his
sister all of his blood in order to save her but he had chosen to save her anyway.



Enjoy !! m3ngz~(=.=)

-- Lameness from C h y i --

Case 1~~
Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said , ' My Mobile No. Has Changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'



Case 2~~
Ah Beng: I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, wat is he studying?
Ah Beng : No, he is not studying, they are Studying him



Case 3~~
Ah Beng : Doctor , in my dreams , i play football every night.
Dr: Take this tablet , you will be ok!
Ah Beng: Can i take tomorrow? Tonite is Final game.



Case 4~~
Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No !! I'll stay with my sister . But if i die , will you remarry?
Ah Beng: No! I'll also stay with your sister.



Case 5~~
Ah Beng: People consider me as a "GOD"
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng: When I went to the Park today, everybody said, "Oh GOD ! You Have come again."



Lame 6~~
Ah Beng complained to the police : "Sir, all items are missing,except the TV in my house."
Police:"How the thief did not take TV?"
Ah Beng : " I was watching TV news..."



Lame 7~~
Ah Beng comes back to his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'. He writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for complement.'



Lame 8 ~~
How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.



Lame 9~~
Once Ah beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other. So the man asked why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.



Lame 10~~
Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings.He picks it up and says " Hello,how did you know I was here?"



Lame 11th~~
Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man: This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Ah Beng: If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?



Lame 12th~~
Teacher : ' I Killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is " You will go to jail "



Lame 13th~~
Ah Beng told his servant : ' Go and water the plants!'
Servant: ' It's already raining.'
Ah Beng: 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'



Last-th Lameness~~
A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not in the morning?
Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM



Enjoy !! m3ngz~(=.=)

College reopens ~

Work hard for flying colours for AS + A2 !

And as usual, trademark sleeping picture :)