New Jokes..

A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit;

she asked her son - to use his own phone to pass an urgent message to daddy who is at work site.

After the son had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that it was a lady that picked up daddy's phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile phone.

(Women!!) She waited impatiently for her husband to return from work site, immediately when she saw him, she gave him a very hot tight slap.

While the hubby was trying to ask why the slap? She repeated the slap, people from the neighborhood rushed around to know what is happening

The man asked the son to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called, the son said

" the number u are Trying To call Is not Reachable At The Moment. Pls Try Again Later".

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"Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said.

"I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," Bob said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'whoo-ha' the doctor had ever seen.

It couldn't have been bigger than the size of a AAA battery. Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell laughing to the floor.

Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.

"I'm so sorry," said the doctor. "I really am. I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again.

Now, what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen,"

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Father : I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : I will choose my own bride!
Father: But the girl is Bill Gates’s daughter.
Son : Well, in that case… ok!

Next Father approaches Bill Gates.

Father: I have a husband for your daughter.
Bill Gates: But my daughter is too young to marry!
Father: But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.
Bill Gates: Ah, in that case… ok

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Father: I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president. President: But I already have more vice-presidents than I need!
Father: But this young man is Bill Gates’s son-in-law.
President: Ah, in that case… ok!

this is how u become a BIG SHOT...

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Kevin wanted to have sex with a girl in his office,but she belonged to someone else...

One day, Kevin got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you".

But the girl said "NO".

Kevin said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. "

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend...

So she called her boyfriend and told him the story.Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get hispants down."

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call.

Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened

She responded, “ the bastard used coins! ”